Monday, August 4, 2014

IELTS Writing Makeover #88



The following essay was written by Ta Gia Hung and the essay discusses about whether learning the culture of a country is important in language learning. 

Topic: In order to learn a language well, we should learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studying second language has recently been an increasing trend as linguistic ability is a mandatory requirement in many prestigious companies. There is an idea maintaining that beside language, it is vitally important to understand the nation and cultural life as well. In my opinion, I am totally for this viewpoint because of the following reasons.

It is inevitable that a language takes its roots in a community, so different community has different pronunciation and different way of writing. Hence, studying its starting point provides a best opportunity to figure out the way native people use their language. Reality has shown that the person who studies abroad master that country’s language in the shortest time.

Another crucial cause worth discussing is that way of learning help you to understand metaphors of native speakers, while the other method fails and gives you a slim chance to have a conversation when you travel abroad. For instance, a word “nice” has a positive meaning, but when a girl talks to her boy: “I think you are nice”, it is absolutely followed with the word “but” after that, meaning she wants to break up.

On the other hand, voices from the other side can also be heard against this learning tactic, saying that it is so time-consuming. However, they might be further from the truth. As you approach language from its beginning, you can thoroughly understand that language, thereby not restraining you from quickly mastering it.

In conclusion, if you want to completely fulfill one language, setting your starting point from its culture is the practical and intellectual strategy.
Word count: 264.

4-POINT CRITIQUE

TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to give your arguments why learning the culture is important in language learning. You gave concrete examples to prove your point. However, improve conclusion by summarizing the main points of your essay.

LEXICAL RESOURCE
Good topic specific vocabulary: learning tactic, intellectual strategy, time-consuming.

COHERENCE AND COHESION
Good transition words were used: on the other hand, in conclusion, for instance. Paragraphs are generally clear, logical and to the point.

GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
There are some minor grammar errors but they do not affect communication:
Studying second language – studying a second language
Beside language = besides language
that the person who studies abroad master that country’s language – that the person who studies abroad masters that country’s language

----
If you want an IELTS writing essay makeover, email me at msjuanta@yahoo.com. :)


For Further Reading,
IELTS, writing

0 comments:

 

Woman Behind A Teacher's Odyssey

My name is Miracel Juanta and I write ATeachersOdyssey to help students and teachers create better English. I have been in the teaching profession for more than 10 years. My field of expertise includes ESL,IELTS,TOEFL,Business English etc. If you have questions about English, feel free to email me at msjuanta@yahoo.com or add my twitter @msjuanta.