The following essay was written by Jana from the Philippines. She writes her arguments regarding prevention of crime.
Crime is a big
problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it.
what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.
It is common for most countries to have problems dealing with crimes.
It seems that not only in third world countries are this criminals rampant but
in almost all parts of the world. Issues concerning criminal punishments and
preventions come up; however, not everyone is convinced that such heinous acts
Some people might believe that it is difficult for crimes to be
stopped. This is because of how intense and abundant the cases already are.
Despite the laws and policies implemented by the government, still, criminals
are able to continuously harm citizens.
Not only does it affect locals, most criminals of a particular country
are able to infiltrate other countries with the same scheme. This could prove
that even international laws, no matter how strict it is, can no longer prevent
cases of felony. In example, those Russian pedophiles are now able to put up an
office in a province in the Philippines victimizing and inviting young people
On the other hand, I believe that these crimes can be prevented. Many
factors can affect the way a person thinks that will affect his or her actions.
One way is the development of morals and values of the young which starts at
home and school. Parents have the responsibility of nurturing children to
become good citizens.
The government also plays a very important role in prevention of
violent acts. Stricter laws should be implemented and people should see that
punishments are really given to those law breakers. To prevent crimes,
policemen should be trained well to detect possible or suspected criminals.
Poor economic status also could contribute to the rising number of
crimes. The government should provide better programs to aid in poverty. This
can help lessen the number of criminal cases.
In conclusion, I
strongly believe that crimes can be avoided. The government and the citizens
all play important roles to help achieve a peaceful environment.
The task requires you to agree or disagree whether crime
cannot be prevented. The arguments are illogical since they give causes and
solutions to crimes.
Good crime vocabulary was used: suspected criminals, violent
acts, criminal cases.
Good transition words were used: on the other hand, in
conclusion. Improve organization by using the 5-paragraph format:
BP1- Disagree 1
BP2 – Disagree 2
BP3- Agree 1
GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND
There are a few grammar errors found:
This criminals = these criminals
If you want a free IELTS writing makeover, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
A Teacher's Odyssey is a blog that provides advice and solutions that empower students to successfully use the English language. Here you will find ideas about test preparation such as IELTS and TOEFL. If you have any comments or suggestions, email me at email@example.com.
My name is Miracel Juanta and I write ATeachersOdyssey to help students and teachers create better English. I have been in the teaching profession for more than 10 years. My field of expertise includes ESL,IELTS,TOEFL,Business English etc. If you have questions about English, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or add my twitter @msjuanta.