The following essay was written by Phuong Mai. The essay
discusses the benefits of social skills over qualifications.
Topic: Employers now tend to prefer employees with good
social skills in addition to good qualifiations.Social skills are getting more
and more important compared to qualifications. Do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that
social skills is more and more crucial in job requirements at workplace. Today,
employees who possess clever social skills may gain stronger impression of
employers than those with good qualifications. Therefore, many believe that
social skills far outweigh qualifications. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this viewpoint because of some following reasons.
Firstly, getting good
social skills plays an important part in creating harmonious working
environment. Actually, it is obvious that high competitiveness and envy are
invariably available at workpalces. Besides, the enormous volume of work can
put workers under much pressure and make them in bad temper.Therefore, if
people behave impolitely and do not give encouraging remarks to their
colleagues, heated arguments are likely to be arised. Consequently, employees
suffer from more excessive stress.
Secondly, social skills
can boost profitable business. This benefit is evident in jobs in a banking
organization. When a customer approaches the bank for applying for a loan, if
the staff are friendly and enthusiastic in instructing procedures, he or her
will feel comfortable. Hence, it is likely that the bank can draw a lot of
customers in the future and make a fortune.
Some people argue that
employees who get excellent qualifications should be taken priority over those
with good interpersonal skills. However, this opinion is seemingly superficial
because if they can not communicate and behave effectively, chances of entering
prestigious companies and showing their extensive knowledge are slim.
In conclusion, acquiring
good social skills is more dominant than getting excellent qualifications
because it makes working environment comfotable. Besides it helps business to
earn a lot of money.
You were able to argue on the importance of social skills
over qualifications. You gave supporting details to prove your stand.
Vocabulary is varied: prestigious, superficial, excessive
stress, extensive knowledge.
COHERENCE AND COHESION
Good transition words: firstly, secondly, in conclusion,
therefore. Paragraphs are clear, logical and to the point.
GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
There are some grammar errors: social skills is, social
skills plays,comfotable, to be
arised, workpalces, make them in bad temper,makes working environment.
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